DINNER
Delicious. (That's all I'm saying right now, except that vegetarian meals will be available for those who prefer them.)

As aforementioned, the damsel and I will be making our way up to San Francisco this weekend to visit the good Mister Thor and see the Shane MacGowan fronted Pogues! That's not 'til Monday night, though.

On Saturday evening (when we get into town), the plan is to make our way to The Balclutha, a late 19th century ship where a chantey sing will be hosted (as it is on the first Saturday of every month). Anyone else up in that there misty old seaport ever make it to this event? It'd be splendid to meet up with you! It's at 8:00 pm, lasts 'til midnight, and it's free! It's recommended that you "bring a mug for hot cider," though I suspect it's of the unfortified variety.

Hah, hey! That's why flasks were invented, eh?

Make sure to call ahead (415 556-6435) and get your name on the list just to be assured a spot, because I guess they can get pretty crowded. Hargh!

I'm not sure what other mischief-making might be involved in this trip northward, but we'll be in San Francisco from Saturday night to Tuesday afternoon. If you want to meet up during that time, drop me a line! We'll exchange numbers and perhaps duel in some back alley or get in a proper barfight! I don't get to see my San Francisco friends often enough.

In closing, here's an old favorite that wraps up the occasion-to-come quite well, methinks. Cheers!

The Pogues: Sea Shanty

Dear dirty London in the pouring rain
I wish to God I was back on the sea again
Though that belongs to the world of never will be
There was never a wilder bastard than me on the sea.

I could fuck all the whores in damnation, me boys
Though they wriggled and hollered and made a great noise
Then I'd drink 'til I stank and then drink plenty more
And I won't go down to the sea any more.

But if I had ten pounds then I'd raise a loud cheer
And I'd toast all me neighbours both distant and dear
And I'd shoot back great belly-crippling buckets of beer
And a pox and a curse on the people round here
Wouldn't give you me the price of a half pint of beer
Wouldn't give you me the price of a cup of good cheer
A pox and a curse on the people round here!

A man's ambition must indeed be small
To write his name upon a shithouse wall
But before I die I'll add my regal scrawl
To show the world I'm left with sweet fuck all...

And when all of us bold shithouse poets do die
A monument grand they will raise to the sky
A monument made just to mark our great wit
A monument of solid shit now, me boys
I met with Bill James we fought over crusts
I called him a whore and he booted me crotch
Then we shared out the jack and we thought it a treat
The compliments pass when the quality meet
The compliments pass when the quality meet
The compliments pass when the quality meet
The compliments pass when the quality meet...

The Bank
3 of Clubs
1123 N. Vine
Hollywood, California



It's Memorial weekend! Rob a bank (not ours), fill your flask, roll your stockings, find your best hat, and come on out to dance the night away!

This week, The California Navels will be performing their novelty and popular music from the 1920s and '30s, along with original tunes that sound like they were written in the 1920s and '30s... [here's their MySpace page, since all the kids seem to dig it these days.]

Don't be a piker! Come out and play. We know you don't have to work on Monday!

DJ Algonquin will be turning tunes all night. I, Loud Louisa, will be throwing out dead soldiers and we'll all be dancing 'til the doors close.

Michael Powell is, For Once, Doing the Right Thing! Keep Fighting the Good Fight!

Those Old Testament-style cranks who run The American Family Association have informed me that FCC Chairman Michael Powell has publicly stated that no action should be taken regarding the prime time airing of "Saving Private Ryan" on ABC last month. He says no action should be taken because the 20 uses of the "f" word and 12 uses of the "s" word were an accurate representation of the events depicted in the movie.

The American Family Association says that "he is wrong," but I'm pretty sure that, if I were in a war zone with stuff blowing up all around me and carnage and gore splattering in my face every five seconds, I'd probably use the "f" word at least 20 times, and I suspect the "s" word would get second-to-top billing not only as a curse word against the forsaking (and, very possibly, imaginary) God above who allows such a Hell on Earth to happen, but also as the material running down my leg from watching my friends get mangled by barbed wire and shrapnel and blown apart by landmines hidden in the sand.

Heck, I'd probably sprinkle in a few liberal (ooh, they HATE it when I use that in its proper context) doses of vulgar words I'd invent especially for the harrowing occasion.

Action should be taken to APPLAUD and REWARD the stations that dared (and continue to dare) to stand up to the religious zealotry and intolerance that threaten to further divide our great nation.

Using Chairman Powell's reasoning, nothing could be declared indecent or obscene. A program on homosexuality would be free to show homosexuals having graphic sex because it would be an accurate representation of hot man-on-man action. And that would turn on a good 84% of the American Family Association, especially the members who don't know how to operate the channel-changing features of their television sets! And then what's next? Reading books (aside from The Good Book) for entertainment? Sacre bleu!

Apparently, Chairman Powell has decided to fortify his responsibility to the public and give the networks and broadcasters (and American citizens who don't want to live in an intolerant quasi-fascist theocracy) what they have long wanted: the freedom to show anything they desire without fear of violating the law. They can always argue that their program was an accurate representation, and The American Family Association can advise its flock in the finer points of watching something else instead of meddling in the affairs of others.

As my elected representative, I implore you to personally speak with Chairman Powell and CONGRATULATE him for standing up for reason in this time of great ignorance. Free speech, tolerance, diversity, and the separation of church and state: These are among the things that make America great. The American Family Association and similarly bigoted organizations are certainly guaranteed the right to express their views, but they cross the line when they threaten to rob the rest of us of our cherished freedoms!

May I hear from you on this matter?

Sincerely,
Robert Glen Fogarty

-----Original Message-----
From: American Family Association [mailto:ayecaptain@hargh.com]
Sent: Saturday, December 18, 2004 4:43 AM
To: American Family Association
Subject: Michael Powell is Doing the Right Thing! Keep Fighting the Good Fight!

Thank you very much for your good actions.

Please know that the children of America and those who love decency appreciate your help.

Sincerely,

Donald E. Wildmon, Founder and Chairman
American Family Association

The cruise missle ceasefire betwixt the miniskirted It-girls and the cyborg toyboys was worth cool megabucks to the power-dressing eggheads down in the Big Apple. It wasn't some peacenik, hippy love-in, by any means, but the avant garde was held in check by psychedelics discretely popped into sugary lattes and acid-laced microchips, respectively. Generation X songs were sung and bagels were handed out. It was a Mickey Mouse way to dumb down a population once content with the occasional spliff and DNA-swapping sex up, but racism had gotten well out of hand and realpolitik had to ad-lib for the sake of the gene pool. Plus, it was extra sexy (in a Trekkie sort of way). Now if the pissed off adversaries could only be convinced that the F-word might be preferable to Molotov cocktails as a way of disagreement, the lumpenproletariat and Watergate wizard could be having it large, alike.